The words did not cause a great deal of havoc contrary to what I had thought. These words together formed the most clichéd sentence of English language. However they still held an irresistible charm. Hearing these words on a bright sunny afternoon on the top of a lovely hillock from the most interesting girl of the neighborhood was an enthralling experience.

I suppressed a smile and asked her if she meant it.

She did not think twice before charging on me. “That is the name of the movie you bonehead. I won’t propose to you even if you are the only person living on this planet.”

That sums up our relationship in a nutshell. I loved her. She knew it. She liked me. I knew it. She did not love me. We both knew it. Everyone knew everything. There was no scope for a series of Hindi movie misunderstandings.

Why was she not in love with me?

I bet there were at least a hundred thousand reasons for this. Maybe she was in love with another person whose name I didn’t know. Maybe she didn’t want to marry outside her religion. Maybe my physical appearance didn’t impress her.

Whatever may be the reason, it was plain and clear that she wouldn’t consider me at all. So I never asked her again. We remained good friends.

After the episode on the hillock – We ended up watching the dreadfully made movie “I love you” – A teenage flick in which a baby girl ends up loving a baby boy who thinks he is in love with another baby girl. The baby boy realizes that he loves the first girl later.

We came out of the theatre stupefied. Babies in love? These characters had barely completed their matriculation. On the other hand, we were well into the late twenties and were still trying to understand the basics of relationships.

Love and Marriage – The most complex two subjects of this universe.

I admit I have deliberately held back an important piece of information from you all this while. I had been married before. Guess this would answer the “Why was she not in love with me” question.

My wife left me after four years of marriage and courtship. She got bored with me and me with her. There weren’t any more butterflies in the stomach. They all flew away. We decided to lead separate lives. An amicable divorce as per our religious act ensured that we got what we wanted.

Initially it was hard. The kitchen would bring back her memories. A rerun of Swades on the cable reminded me of her. A drive on the famed expressway near our city made me think about her.

It was no secret that I missed her terribly. Funny that before the divorce all I wanted was to be alone. Now, this whole thing of being free and not answerable to anyone did not seem like a great idea.

On the footsteps of the only multiplex in the city, I broke down suddenly weeping uncontrollably and depressed to the core. I did not want our marriage to end. I did not know what to do. I felt very guilty. I blamed myself for the fiasco.

Two days later, I stood on the top of the hillock I mentioned in the first paragraph of this writeup and contemplated a jump off it. It was at that point that she came into my life. A wild life photographer by profession and a passionate lover of nature by nature – she found me with one of my legs on the wrong side of the hill.

“What are you doing?” She asked me casually.

I did not reply. Conversation was of no use then. I should just jump. It was my destiny. I screwed up my life so badly that I had to end my life.

“I love you” – she told me suddenly.

I turned back horrified. She spoke again. “Will you marry me?”

I did not know how to react. I just stood there trying to understand what was happening.

She kept on talking. I understood probably half of what she was saying. The remaining portion went just way above my head. She did talk about disproving Heisenberg’s Theory of Uncertainty and Schrodinger’s Cat. I vaguely remembered them.

Five minutes later, we both were talking about me.

I told the stranger everything about my relationships. She listened to me patiently and suggested that I should consult a professional psychologist before jumping off the cliff.

I did not agree. She did not let go. Perseverance on her part and the malleable state of my mind at that moment took me to the psychologist.

I still don’t get it. How could I let a total stranger control my life then? It was all mysterious.

I had gotten over the suicidal thoughts by the time the counseling was over. I had to be on medicines for the rest of my life. However I was normal within two months. I understood that I had a psychological problem. That was more than half the battle won.

We’d become very good friends after that incident. We loved each other’s company. We loved to hang out together. Her parents were very supportive. It wouldn’t be far fetched to say that I would have been dead if not for them.

After the baby love movie – we were coming out from the movie hall when a familiar person came face to face with me.

“How are you?” she asked me.

I stared at her blankly. I was scared and confused. Would this take me back to the cliff?

“Venu, how are you?” she repeated her question with concern in her voice.

“OK I guess. How have you been?” I asked her. I could see the mist clearing.

She smiled, “Doing fine. Good to know you are happy.”

I returned her smile, “This is my friend.”

They shook hands. We three went to the nearest restaurant to have a cup of coffee.

“After the divorce, he went into a state of depression. He is still on medication.” My friend told her.

She was silent. There was a tear in her eye which she desperately tried to hide. I held her hand and told her, “It is OK. I am fine now. I am 100% healthy. My mind tried to trick me but thanks to a wonderful person, I am out of it now. Don’t worry.”

She nodded. It was a great meeting that day. We didn’t have any ill feeling towards each other. In fact I found that I still cared for her. Maybe we were not in love anymore but we still cared for each other.

After that day, we had met regularly. My ex wife had become my second best friend.

Our relationship was confusing to the others. This guy was friendly with two girls. There was no romance between them. The girls had no boyfriends. How could that be?

“I love you” she told me one fine day.

I smiled, “This is the third time you are proposing me. Or you’re talking about some movie?”

That was when she slapped me.

I was baffled. “What are you doing?”

She started crying, “I love you. I really do. I can’t hide it anymore.”
I did not know how to react. “But you only told me you wouldn’t propose to me even if I was the last man standing on this planet.”

Teary eyed she hugged me tightly, “I knew. Then I was not in love… or at least did not acknowledge it. But I see it now, after I realized how affectionate you are with your ex wife. Not everyone can do that. You are one of a kind. You bowled me over. I love you. I really love you.”

Time stood still. I embraced her but did not say anything.

Five minutes later, she regained her composure. “See you later.” And she was gone.

I sat there thinking about everything.

Next morning, I called up my ex-wife.

“Are you free now?”

We met a couple of hours later. I decided to be pretty straightforward. “Look,” I started, “I know we’d had issues with our marriage but I still think I am in love with you. And all those issues seem to be very silly at the moment. I don’t even remember why we’d separated. It is all fuzzy. If someone asks me to point out the single most important factor which ruined our marriage – I won’t be able to answer it. In fact I don’t remember anything. All I know is that I still love you. As much as I ever have.”

She was stunned but quickly composed herself, “I understand your feelings but I don’t think it will work. Even I am not too sure what exactly had caused the marriage to break but I am sure we’d had some really strong reasons. What we have now is great. Let us not spoil it.”

I walked on the road for five miles that day. What I had before my ex-wife entered my life again was great. I had a lovely friendship with a person who brought me back to life. There was no romance angle though I wanted it badly.

And then my ex-wife came into the picture. Surprisingly there were no bitter confrontations. She jelled well with us. It kind of rekindled my feelings for her. My treatment of my ex-wife made my close friend get into the romance trap. However I was in two minds. I loved my wife very much. What I shared with my friend was reduced to mere friendship.

My wife did not want to reenter matrimony. Maybe she didn’t want to lose this relationship.

It was all too complicated for me to handle. I had to take a decision fast. I had to confirm my stand to myself. I had to do it fast.

And I did.

At the strike of midnight, I made up my mind. At five in the morning, I was in the airport. Minutes later, I was airborne. I took one final glimpse at what had been my home all these years.

Bombay, my ex-wife and my friend – all became insignificant details from that thirty thousand feet view.

The End.
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